Transitioning into a Family of Five

Transitioning into a Family of Five


Our founder, Sweta Doshi, is pregnant with her third baby—”really my fourth, because I consider Bubbsi my third child!”—and as her due date gets closer, she is thinking about ways to make the transition smooth for herself and her family members. She’s already got all the gear she needs. Here are 5 intentions she’s setting this time around. 


INTENTION #1: I'm getting more help

“In the past, I had the tendency to be optimistic in terms of what I am able to take on.  As moms, we often think we can do everything ourselves. This time, I want to step up and get more help. My mom and my mother-in-law will come visit, mostly to take care of me: They cook and feed me while I’m breastfeeding, and they offer a strong sense of support for me. Also, I am in a fortunate place to be able to hire a night nurse for the first time. It’s self-care, really. With help in place, I’ll be able to allow myself a few moments—to take a deep breath or have a good cry. (Because, hormones!).”


INTENTION #2: I'm prepping for my kids’ transition

“Last time around, my patience ran thin with my oldest, Alekh. For the first couple of weeks after Juhi was born, we were in the honeymoon phase. After that, once he realized she was sticking around, he acted out, and I would lose my patience. I wasn’t really thinking about what he was going through. He was 2½, and I think I had expectations appropriate to a 7- or 8-year-old. I didn’t cut him slack when he needed it.  

This time, I will remember how different this is for them, and relax my behavioral standards. This intention might go out the window when I’m sleep-deprived! But hopefully not. It’s part of the reason I’m taking a three-month maternity disconnect—so I can help my older two kids transition. I plan on reminding myself that everything doesn't have to be just how I want it to be. I’m a natural control freak, and I have a low tolerance for temper tantrums. It’s my personality. But this is just a phase. If I can remember that even 50 percent of the time, that would be progress.

“Part of the reason that we are splurging on a baby nurse is so I can put the other two kids to bed, and so that in the morning, I can walk Alekh to the bus. Those morning and evening routines are so important for them. Having the extra help allows me not to be tethered to the baby during those specific times. My older kids will need to feel loved and taken care of. And I’m thinking of little jobs they can do to feel like they’re part of the team, like helping bottle feed.”

 

Coconut oil skincare


INTENTION #3: I'll expect less productivity from myself

“In my first pregnancy, I expected my maternity leave to be productive. I thought I would organize closets and do stuff around the house. And then I was like, What is going on? I couldn’t even shower! When I shared my frustrations with my mom, she said something I’ve never forgotten: “What do you mean, you’re not being productive? You just brought a person into the world!” I was better the second time around. I am going to try to be realistic about what I am and what I am not going to achieve. I don’t want to set goals. I do want to keep perspective—this isn’t going to happen again. I want to lean into it and embrace it and try not to always be doing something else. 

“Basically, I plan to cut myself some slack, which is hard because I have a business! I’m planning ahead by ramping up our marketing consultant to take on a bigger role during my three-month maternity disconnect, and I hired a customer service associate. I’m making early preparations to make sure certain tasks are off my plate.”


INTENTION #4: I will go with the flow

“My husband and I have been talking about how we want to go with the flow more, even with a newborn. With our 7- and 4-year-olds, we’ve gotten used to living life in a way that’s more fun. I don’t want to launch back into the baby phase where we feel paralyzed. We want to try to be more adventurous, maybe even travel more. One thing I’m going to try to do is get more comfortable breastfeeding in public. The reality is, I’ve never felt comfortable doing this, but I’d like to think we will be more chill and do more things with this baby so that life doesn’t have to stand still for two years.” 


INTENTION #5: I'll drop dairy right at the beginning!

Both of my kids suffered from bad gas and reflux. A few months into both of their lives, I dropped dairy, and it really helped. I’m already starting the process of finding good substitutes—trying out almond milks, etc. Shoutout to our vegan friends!

 

Coconut oil skincare

 

Sweta will continue massaging her older kids (and her baby belly!) with Bubbsi’s rich, naturally healing Whipped Coconut Oil Body Cream and Coconut Oil Balm. For the new baby, she’ll be using everything in Bubbsi’s Newborn Starter Set.

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